Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
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I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
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I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
you're hired as official boob wrangler
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