The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Also, beer. Big fan.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Randomize
