SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
