It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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