You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
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