Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
