So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
