Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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