She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize