my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
