He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
