My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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