Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
