You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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