If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
