i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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