Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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