And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
