Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
