HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
