My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
