Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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