the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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