It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
