just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
