he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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