I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
