so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
