Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
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im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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