Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
