Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Randomize
