whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
