My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
as a side note pls kill me
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
