I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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