Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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