marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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