Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
