He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
