i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
