are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
