Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
