morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize