are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
