Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
