Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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