the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
