I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
