I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
