..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
