Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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