Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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