Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
