thus making me awesome and them whores
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
