turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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