Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
