It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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