Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
