the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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