ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize