It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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