I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
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Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
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As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid