I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
